School Funding Satire

Ryder Wells, Staff Writer

TELLURIDE- If you’re a Coloradan parent, teacher, student, politician, or maybe all the above you know that Colorado has abysmal school funding. The state is ranked 51st in the nation for Education funding, putting it below even the dreaded Idaho. 

The Colorado government decided to make a change. “It’s just really an injustice, ya know? Like these kids are the future of our nation. We don’t even educate them. Maybe, in order to better educate our kids, we gotta educate ourselves,” said one politician who, for legal reasons, must rename unnamed. 

So that’s why in April of 2020, Colorado schools are cutting funding once again. Each public school in the district will now receive roughly $3 a year. This is an exponential change and made many citizens confused as to why this happened.

One such citizen shared this, “I just don’t know who they were trying to help. I’m a mother of 13 so when the Government said they wanted to change something I was ecstatic. But then they announced these plans. Maybe I was too hopeful for thinking they’d raise the budget.”

Happy April fool’s day!